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Psalm 73

A psalm of Asaph.

1 Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.


2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
5 They are free from common human burdens;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
their evil imaginations have no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
with arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance.
11 They say, “How would God know?
Does the Most High know anything?”
12 This is what the wicked are like—
always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.

13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
and have washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments.
15 If I had spoken out like that,
I would have betrayed your children.

16 When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20 They are like a dream when one awakes;
when you arise, Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.




Why do the wicked prosper and God's people suffer?
These days, I looked around and grew envious at the people who live as if there is no God and yet seem to abound in wealth and health. While ppl who try to live a righteous and God-honouring life suffers from hardships. Is it worth it trying to live for God when it doesn't seem to benefit my life? Shalom. Is God's blessings limited to physical and material blessings?

This passage brought me so much comfort.

God is good and faithful. He is Sovereign.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Had lunch with cuzzie Zexun at Menya Musashi my fave ramen eatout bcos of the tasty (salty) soup base. I got so excited sharing my story that i didnt even realise he had finished 5 portions of ramen while i was still struggling with 1 regular size. Good to be a teen and its prolly in his genes that he'll remain scrawny/lean for life despite being in dragonboat national team. O the irony. And me? Sorry but gone were the days where high metabolism reigns and il nv go fat when I have beardpapa cream puff as my midnight snack ha! Must maintain what.

I had to make a choice this morning.. But I tried to smoke my way through.. and now I find myself in a sorta difficult position I may hafta lie to cover up my previous lie.
I hate this. Very terrible feeling.

As if that wasn't enough to bother me for the next couple of days.. I came back to read another awful long email yet again?.. le sigh.

I'm so confused and conflicted of late. My thoughts have gone so wayward. Just WWJD?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Don't start.. it will become a habit.

Its funny and I like how when i read back my past reflective journal entries, that i am pretty much the same ol' Xueping inside. Then and Now. No matter how the world changes..

I like typing on notepads. Sometimes i choose to broadcast. Most of the time though id like to keep to myself bcos some things are better left unsaid. Feelings hidden. Words unspoken. Nothing happen.

Today was very unpleasant. I cried and cried a Mississippi river till i got face spasms from doing so i don't rem when's the last time i sobbed this hard. Popo saw my face covered in tears. Instead of comforting me (or i expected a motherly sympathetic look), she ticked me off. What?! *Cries more* I'm so sheltered in my church community with lovely bros and sis who always see the good in me, find smth nice to say and nv fails to encourage me when things go awry. That perhaps i can say to the quarterofacenturyold me again, Welcome to Real ugly World yo.

How can words be so hurting. And you think you'd grow out of it once u hit adulthood and start making ur own money. I guess i'm still a teen, forever a baby. Sensitive and frail. Croons to mom's fave song - Oh i am nobody's child - u hit right there mommy.

Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Truly?

Dave Barnes
Sticks And Stones lyrics

You would have kept those words on your tongue,
If you had known the hurt they had done.
While your fists stay by, right by your side,
Your words they bruise me deep inside.

I'd rather have sticks and stones and broken bones
than the words you say to me,
Cause i know bruises heal and cuts will seal
but your words beat the life from me.

Sometimes your words are thick as lead,
You swing them strong upside my head.
But what hasn't killed has made me strong,
So i'll take my scars and move along.

Goodbye is the best way that I know,
To forgive and still be letting go.
 
 
 
 
 
 

“My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior.” -John Newton

Truly. :')

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

 
 
 
 
 
 


Isaiah 61Collapse )


Very strangely, i came across this passage on 3 separate occasions in a short period of time. It had to be some sign for sure. I rem telling my friends of this encounter ‘I just wish He can explain more in context’

A few days after.. At Hope Conference 2011.
I went omgomg when Pastor Jeff mentioned Isaiah 61 in His first teaching. You shlda seen the look on my face. Spot on. God must have smth up His sleeves. And id better be all ears mann. Ive seen and read this passage several times before but somehow it only spoke to me personally then. Its in those quiet moments with God that i felt a stirring in my heart, so convicted of this verse! The whole passage is too beautiful..

It was a breath of fresh air hearing Mediacorp Artiste Chew Chor Meng, Politician Denise Phua and many other respectable guests speak of their Faith in public. I however, cld vividly rem the sharing by one of the guest speakers - Founder of Yellow Ribbon Project because it spoke to my heart.

I then promptly responded to the altar call of influencing the social sector. Had no clue at all what’s my next step gna be. But i rem telling God, with both hands raised, in the most cheesy manner to ‘Use me in any way’. Nth magical happened thereafter tho haha.

Subsequently, doors opened for me.
I had the opportunity to help out at Hope Centre – To serve the elderly at the monthly Breakfast with Love event and the young ones at the Tuition programme. Which is a complete privilege!

God’s calling, God’s plan? I guess i will nv be 100% definite of what it is surely. At least not now.
But i do feel this tremendous peace as i take each step in faith and obedience.. Like how Mother Teresa puts it when she was asked to pray for clarity for someone seeking God’s direction for the future. ‘In my many years of serving the poor and dying in Calcutta, i have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust’.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Some 2 years ago, like every overseas fresh graduate, i was standing at that crossroad.
Stay or Go?
Study or Work?

Figuring out what God’s plan for me really is.. I guess if i know God’s call upon my life, i could figure my next step with greater ease.

I had this crazy idea of pursuing Nursing. (Background info: You gotta know i’m a Business student majoring in Tourism and Hospitality for years. So why Nursing? I rly lack giftings. But ive come to recognise that this heart of compassion is a special gift from God. I cld start by making use of what i have) So in that way, i could continue to stay in Australia to serve in Hope Church Ipswich. I was delighted when my shepherd then was supportive of the idea too. I firmly believe that ‘If it is God’s will, He will surely open the doors’.

Long story short. All green lights! So i went ahead to execute my plan. It wasn’t until my Grad day that my Godma tried to talk me out of this ‘crazy idea’. It felt like God was playing a prank on me. Bad joke. I cld jolly well insist my way. But what would my God look like to them? Obnoxious? I do respect my elders. Afterall, they’ve gone before me and there’s always some truth and wisdom in their words. ‘Its a demanding job’, ‘i don’t think you are quite there yet’ and many more disapproving comments. I do not always agree with what they say but God does say to Honor your parents. I believe He wouldn’t want me to do what i supposed is His call and defy my family’s orders. At least not this time mm no peace at all.
So it was back to Square 1 all over.

I prayed, sought godly counsel and advice from my spiritual leaders, and still heard nothing from God. Panicked very hard. Prayed again.. until i finally heard a voice inside said to me –
“If you cant show TLC to your immediate family, ur community back in SG, how are you able to show TLC for people whom you have not even met in a distant land”. What hypocrisy. That slapped me real hard.. even to this day. Some wisdom there uh.
I kinda geddit that i should perhaps head back to SG? So i asked God specifically for a sign as confirmation.

And this was that sign:


A bewildering FB message that came outta nowhere lol.

The rest is history – I came back Singapore. Attended that Xmas Musical with my dearest cousin. I will never forget how he'd voluntarily raised his hands during altar call, walked down those flight of stairs, said the sinner's prayer and accepted Jesus into his life. So so precious. This is a testimony in itself!

Just who would have thought that your 'sudden feeling' was a part of God's grand plan. Salvation is a gift.
Many ppl sowed the seed and it was my honor to be reaping this harvest.

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A verse that gave me Hope.
Deuteronomy 5:9b-10

You may have inherited the sins of your fathers..
But your love and obedience to God will bless a thousand generations.
The pain stops with 'me'.

Wow.

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The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems
Forgiven I'm alive, restored set free
Your Majesty resides inside of me
Forever I believe, forever I believe
Arrested by Your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
Convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
Your love will never fail, Your love will never fail

 
 
 
 
 
 


Deep cries to you Jesus~
<3 this song!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yknow having lived in such loving and affirming community for many years (we are too blessed to have the Church our bros and sis in christ are saints mann haha) the world may sometimes seem like a harsh place to live in. People can be less appreciative and more critical. Esp in this dog-eat-dog world, mistakes and failures are intolerable.

God spoke clearly to me through His Word. (Awesome or what. To receive firsthand from G ;D )
Matthew 6:1-33

In that chapter, Jesus spoke about the areas of Giving, Prayer and Fasting..
In essence, do not show ur acts of righteousness before men. Do it in secret. Reward is in heaven.
Sometimes our itching ears crave for the applause of men. It feels good too to be honored and recognised by men. Say what if people do not praise you, what if they aren't appreciative of your love, what if your efforts often go unnoticed, will you still continue to be faithful in doing the things you do?
God has been revealing these areas in my life. Am very thankful for the unpleasant incident which happened to me last week. And i think this lesson and reminder came in timely for me personally. We need to constantly keep our motives in check so that they are pure.

**

I just wanna let you know and to remind ourselves that truly.. God knows. Jesus understands.
He knows all our deeds, intentions, thoughts. Even when noone knows how u feel what u go thru.. U can be sure and assured God knows.. He is nearer than u feel/think. For a God who's so high and almighty would acty come down and want to know U personally. Try to digest that mann. What privilege and comfort!

I attended this singles talk by Ali Smith few months back. I rem she mentioned that no matter how far you have gone astray and away from 'God's intended plan' for you.. Just like how rebellious Jonah who went the total opposite direction from God, God will send that 'Whale' to veer u back on track.. U are nv too far off, too messed up, or beyond hope for our Mighty Father to save. Hold on to God.

And i really believe that God will nv bring us to and thru something for no reason. He will also nv test us beyond what we can bear. And if ure gng through the darkest hours in ur life today. Praise G!! God really 看的起你. He knows you are able to handle. If u wonder how u can survive this ordeal, have faith in your Saviour. Always ask what lesson He is trying to teach you. He never waste any experience tt u go thru :)

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